Day 128

Ribs of the fallen beast.

Such a wet watery day, gloomy, everything sodden. My husband works too hard, too much.  

I run 2.43 miles (about 4km) in the pouring rain, the trees drooping with the weight of water, me laden with the weight of worry - debt, bills, mortgage.  Running helps - some of the weights slip off your shoulders as you are loping along, and you can leave them behind to find their own way home.  Thunder and lightning send me hurtling down the path for the safety of our house before I am too tired to run anymore. 

Once when we were camping on the Saco river Tim drove our car to a bridge about 5 miles away, then rode back to our camp on his bicycle, whereupon we set off on two kayaks downstream.  Wearing only our bathing suits, we took turns to paddle in the kayaks or swim and drift on the current.  When we were about 2 miles from our destination a huge thunderstorm struck us with pelting rain and scary bursts of lightning, so we got off the water and huddled shivering on tiny little patch of sand, a mini-beach.  We were so cold that we all cuddled together in a circular group hug, our bare-skinned bodies gradually warming from one another.  I felt so utterly happy in that embrace, my husband and two big sons all laughing, our movement together a kind of primitive dancing, linked by blood, family.  I remember thinking then, that it was one of those moments that I would never forget, a photograph in my head.

This evening I dropped Nick off to sing in the a capella group at a function, then waited in the school parking lot for Matthew to arrive on the bus from sailing.  All the sun-tipped clouds in the upper atmosphere were moving slowly across the recently washed sky, in a vaguely northerly direction, while lower down in the sky, at about the same pace, drifted damp grey rain-clouds in the opposite direction, gracefully breaking apart. 

Looking up at the beautiful new school building that I still can't quite believe they got so right, I notice, on the top floor, their backs politely towards us, two naked couples, one missing both arms, the other missing their entire skins.  It is the science lab.  There are also two pelvises (pelvi?) with spines, nothing else.  Are they a couple too?  Are we so different in every way?

This self-portrait while waiting in the car.