Ran 3.56km in 90F heat. The only day that I didn't have a camera of any kind, and a monarch hovers around me and then lands on a milkweed plant and proceeds to perform an intricate ballet en pointe, with fluttering tutu of black and red, for my pleasure alone. I watch entranced for a full 3 minutes, until she bows out and floats away to my silent applause.
Later in the run I very nearly stood on an Eastern blue butterfly, which is actually a little white flitter amongst the celandine. It would be so awful to squash something so ethereal, like killing an angel.
I had a date with the ocean in the rain and then the sun, and stayed in for an hour and a half this afternoon.
I still miss the girls with my whole body. A day or so ago conversation and emotion flowed freely between us, easy hugs and closeness, in the kitchen, on walks, sitting opposite one another on the couch.
These girls who were my first babies, who slept together with me when I got divorced, one on either side of me, on a pullout couch, which was all we had, because I got the fridge which I needed as I was granted full custody of the children too, and he took the bed.
These girls with whom I have a special bond because they are the same sex as I am, a deep understanding, an ability to discuss anything, anything at all.
These young women who are so completely different from one another, and have pieces of me in them too.
Jess - an intricately decorated wooden lidded box containing the four ancient elements: crazy fireworks, a placid thoughtful river, brave fluid air and the loving kindness of earth, any of which can overflow at different moments.
Emma - a beautifully crafted fountain in the middle of a sunny square, constantly erupting, at various times: enfolding empathy, fiery anger, infectious laughter, deep sadness, huge love, insightful wisdom.
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| Emma and the sea |
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| Jess and the Tiger |
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